IS THERE A MEAN GIRL HIDING SOMEWHERE IN ME?

I am sitting on a little chair in the corner of my bedroom. I feel like I could throw up. I just need to type out my feelings. So please this will be a blah blah blog post. Please stop reading if you like me.
I have to tell the marble guy to rip up the counters and replace them, they are unacceptable.
Why does confrontation make me ill. In high school I would let anyone who got in my way have it, Now I can't even stand up for something I have had to work very hard to pay for (cash at that).
The guy is bigger than me? No that is not the reason. Is it that I have not had to be ugly in so long that I have forget how? Do you just become a softie? Can it be I have learned to just settle? Maybe I need professional help. I always use the excuse that " Being ugly won't make the world better." Well it might make my kitchen look better.
When I built the house I had to settle with the first counter tops, and the crappy excuses. Now I feel like I am reliving that experience.
The difference I have now is it makes me sick, really IBS, chest pains
WHY WHY. I hate being nice!! Why can't I be a mean girl . I really don't care what people think. Now my palms are sweating. I wish he would be here already.
OMG, I just saw something out the corner of my eye looking in the window at me, a squirrel. Oh how cute. Now how can I pump myself up to be a B after seeing that? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS TROUBLE BEING MEAN WHEN I NEED TO BE???
SUSIE WHERE ARE YOU??

20 comments:

Darlene said...

I have issues with it also. I think it is because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Even though depending on the time of month it is I can get a bit bit...!!!

I hope you can confront him (nicely) and show him the problems and let him know it is unacceptable when you are paying your hard earned money. Hopefully, he will just re-do it without some kind of attitude.

Susie from Bienvenue said...

Im right here sista! That was me you saw outside of your window. You know the one with the puffy cheecks..hehe. I can remember when we would get into fights and you would just let me have it. I would lay there and play dead. You always had those long pretty fingernails too. What happened? the tables have turned I guess and now you turn into a Miss softie. Next time that tile man comes over just remember how mad I use to make you when I would tag along on your dates and I would refuse to turn out the lights after we were both in bed. Are you getting mad yet?....just thougt I could help a bit. Im sorry you are having such a hard time with all of this. It should be a happy time. It makes me proud to say I have a sweet sister. It will pay off in the long run BUT you must not let people take advantage of your kind heart. Stand up for yourself. You worked hard for that money you are dishing out to them. Do it now or you will have to live with it for a very long time....trust me! Ok now I will go and put an ice pack back on my cheeks....and try and clean some more of this house for that tootin' party. I love you to bits!!!!

HeathahLee said...

Oh, honey, if I could I would come down there and go all Virgil on him for you. Kat calls me that when I have to get something made right. Yep...Virgil the Vigilante Shopper. You have to stand up for yourself, or he will make a habit of doing this to other people, if he already hasn't. It may be that the ones before you didn't stand up for what they wanted and he went on his merry way.

And you don't even have to be mean about it...that is, unless he decides to act ugly. Then you better tho' down on him. : )

I'm having a tassel giveaway! Come on over when you're done giving your marble guy what for.

Amber said...

You poor thing. Don't think of it as being *mean*, think of it as

-getting what you paid for
-being assertive
-taking care of your family & your home

Kat said...

Girl. I HATE confrontation. I was going to refer you to Heathahlee, but she beat me to it. Sorry about your cabinets. When we remodeled our house, our cabinet guy messed up our cabinets, too. I live with his mistake daily...

"Blossom" said...

I would be firm with him and let him know that this kind of construction work is not what you paid for. I need to have my counter tops put in the correct way and I need the job completed by............
Take a deep breathe and breath!
Blossom

Twice as Nice said...

Twin and I have ALWAYS been the softies. Always trying to please everyone. Now in the lat few years we have changed. If you don't stand up for yourself who will? When Twin built her house she discovered just a month or two after the year was up that her windows are CRAP. When she called they more or less told her too little too late (the window company went under) and now she has to replace all of them since the seal are broke. Then when she picked out her counter it tured out to be crap. It stains! Where she has her coffee pot it is a mess. It's like it doesn't have a finish on it. And again they said she was too late calling.
So don't you be afraid. You only want what was promised to you and that is what you should get. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. Some times it's a MUST. Good Luck.

Mickey Johnson said...

i hate this for you. i hate it too. it is just so hard, but it does have to be done sometimes. i am in the middle of my own 'b'fest right now and i can tell you my stomach has seen better days. my husband doesn't seem to have this problem. i think he doesn't let his emotions get involved and just solves it...but we're women and when the heck don't our emotions get involved? anyway, if you ask me...and you sort of did, i would listen to the puffy cheeked squirrel outside your window that remembers your pretty finger nails... and she said you worked really hard for your money and deserve better craftmanship than that...i'll be praying for you too! xo, mickey

Olivia and Me said...

Grrrruff... and bow wow.. you and I are peas in a pod... you look away, tense up, get queasy, ibs kicks in and then you let it go, unable to say that it needs to be different. But no, we pay for it.

I don't send food back when it comes wrong. I just don't eat it and won't pay for it if I ordered it one way and comes another or stone cold. I'm afraid that someone will spit in it or add boogies to it. My only vise if I had one.

My backsplach isn't what I wanted the schmuck to put it in didn't listen and did it the 'easy' way.. and so there it is.. I used to get queasy over it.. but now I just cover it up with pictures and plates. so pewp on that.

Go get em girl.. tell em like it is. They look like crap and you're not going to take it.

Amanda@Imperfectly Beautiful said...

Nope, you're not the only one sweetie! I used to be the same way. I evven had a bad reputation for it. Now I hate confrontation. but think about it this way...it's YOUR hard earned cash, it's YOUR house, YOUR kitchen that YOU have to live with every single day. The bottom line is you should get what you pay for. Take a stand Missy. BE.THE.MEAN.GIRL. It's for a good cause!

~Amanda

Sue said...

Oh my gosh- confrontation is my middle name! I will not tolerate sub-standard service or products. But I have learned to confront nicely- politeness DOES pay off in the long run. We pay good money for services and goods, so why not be happy in the end? I am in the middle of a little remodeling job right now, in fact, I posted a pity post just today. The painters have to come back and re-paint a two story great room and hall, plus an upper hall. I told them I didn't like the way the paint was holding up- I did a little wipe job on 2 spots from a second contractor, and there are dark spots on the wall. At least the owner agreed that there was a problem, and without my even asking, he said he would re-paint to make me a happy customer! You should not feel in the least bit guilty for telling him the work is unsatisfactory. Good luck, I will be thinking of you. :-) Sue

vintage at heart said...

I feel your pain!!

Kristen said...

Channel your inner mean girl - you can do it! (I hope you did!) I'm sure marble countertops are NOT cheap - don't settle if you don't love them!

Allidink said...

Do you have to be mean to get new counters? LOL I'm confused and just wondering LOL. Hey I don't have a problem with it, I am regularly mean (to those deserving of it HAHA.) I usually take the war path rather than the uh...peace path? LOL. But then I start fights with everyone haha. I just sound crazy now. Just don't listen to me anymore..LOL OK have a great day :)

All the best,
Allison

Mandi said...

I am the same way, and wish I wasn't. Very non-confrontational. I always make hubby have someone redo things or they stay the same, but you paid big money to get those counters done. Is there a way to be nice but still firm in your complaint? Good luck and keep us posted.

DomesticDivasFancy said...

I hear ya! I used to be so outspoken but I have gotten so tired of dealing with people, I just seem to feel like it will just make matters worse to get all crazy {as my hubby calls it} I think I just dont have the energy to do it anymore!

Stacey said...

Oh no you are not the only one. We just want to be nice girls and unfortunately sometimes we have to switch gears and be extremely assertive. Would it help you to really think through what you want to say to them and rehearse it? I'm the kind of girl who runs the other way at the very thought of confrontation so I know how you feel. However, you are talking about a lot of money and years worth of commitment to those countertops. Speak to them. You are woman - roar!! :)

Lisa said...

My brother's use to refer to me as "The Mouth of The South", so no problem here with confrontation, but always with prayer and guidance.

Bless your heart. Take a few deep breaths and Pray. Pray that the Lord will guide your words. That He will give you the wisdom and knowledge to confront your adversary and intervene when necessary. I know that it will go well for you. Just let the Lord be your guide.

RootsAndWingsCo said...

My family is all this way! Confrontation is just NOT something we deal with. Unfortunately, life is not always about being nice. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, or your family. And it's not nice. But it's still the right thing to do. Being a door mat and letting people walk all over you, just to be nice, is not right. I have learned a lot over the last couple of years (oh, the stories I could tell). I'm still learning. Probably my biggest thing is exactly what you are talking about. You paid good money to get something you wanted. You have every right to make sure that it is done correctly. But that doesn't make you feel any better, does it? Even when someone has been totally disrespectful to me, I still don't want to turn them down when they ask me for something. But I am learning to say no (and some other not nice things) if things are affecting my family the wrong way. I wont let my family be taken down by my need to be "nice" to everyone! Sometimes being "mean" is actually the right thing to do. Good luck! I still think you are nice! ;)
Rebecca
RootsAndWingsCo.blogspot.com

diXymiss said...

BTDT, ad nauseum. So here's this stranger's best advice: Don't think of it as being mean. Think of it as being FIRM. If the contractor did a poor quality job, insist they make it right. Be polite, but stand firm. Most importantly, withhold final payment (as leverage), so they will be motivated to correct it to your satisfaction. Oh yes, I learned this lesson the hard way... (sigh)